Him, You and Me

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Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - A picture of Caleb

By HANNAH WARD | Published: May 5, 2013

I leant over the toilet bowl, again, and hurled the non-existent food from my stomach. I heard the door open and felt hands – much bigger than my own – pull my hair away from my face and out of the way as I retched again. I sat back and strong arms wrapped around me.

“I wish I wasn't pregnant!” I shouted, pulling at my hair, I paused for a minute and sighed. “No, I don't.”

I rubbed my stretched out belly absent mindedly, to say I was 35 weeks pregnant I was tiny. Caleb's hands trapped mine where they were and he kissed my head.

“I wish I could help you.” He whispered into my hair.

“You are” I replied.

“Not enough.”

I turned to face him, my belly getting in the way, and kissed him. He really didn't have to be there for me. Any other guy would be running to get away from me and yet he had stayed. We hadn't even been together when I got pregnant. It wasn't even his baby.

I had been walking home, to Caleb's parents' house, when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me to one side. Just a shadow, I fought to pull my arm away but they were suddenly gone and rough lips were pressed against mine. I tried to forget what happened after that but it wasn't easy. The next thing I remember is opening my eyes I the dark street where he had left me and trying to put myself back together. I hadn't done a very good job and when I got back to the house Caleb and his parents had wanted to know what had happened. It was hard to tell them; I ended up telling Caleb and he told his parents and they phoned the police who wanted to know the story directly from me. They all secretly begged the unnamed god that I would be spared and everything could be forgotten. And it began, everyone wanted to know what happened and I wasn't supposed to leave out the gory details but I perfected the art of telling them the truth without telling them the hole truth, it was too painful. Caleb was the only person who knew the whole truth. Apart from me and him. Caleb was the person I cried to when I missed my first period. My second period. My third. Caleb was the one who hovered over me in the bathroom whilst I took the pregnancy test. Caleb was the one who read the test and told me what I already knew. Caleb was the one who had said he would raise my baby as his own and no one needed to know the truth. So I had clung onto Caleb for dear life and we had grown closer and closer. Starting with little things, I sat next to him when we ate. I sat next to him on the sofa. I curled up in his side when we watched films. I held his had whilst we were walking around. I snuck into his room in the night. I folded myself into him when I went to sleep. I told him I loved him. He told me he loved me.

“Come on, we've got to finish the nursery this weekend.” Caleb said, pulling me into his arms and carrying me back up the stairs to our bedroom. We were living in our own house, it had been my parents house until they had died and then it had been passed along to me. My bank had been looking after it until I was eighteen but because of 'special circumstances' we had been allowed to take over it. It had been painful at first but I had moved around it. The house was mine now and we had to baby-proof it before the little kicker arrived. Caleb was quite right, the nursery did need finishing this weekend, due to the fact that my little kicker had just about developed a full immune system and could decide to visit us a little sooner than planned.

“Maternity clothes.” I sighed, pulling my stretchy jeans over my bump and sliding a floaty black top over the cami I was wearing. I still didn't look huge but the tight clothes with my floaty top did make me look a little bit more pregnant. People still gave me funny looks when I was walking around, especially when I told people I was nearly 36 weeks pregnant.

“You look beautiful.” Caleb said, pulling a t-shirt over his head and messing up his deep brown hair. He leant down and kissed the top of my stomach, making my little kicker, kick. He laughed and knelt down in front of me.

“Mornin' baby. Are you gonna come and see us today?”

“NO!” I screamed, making Caleb laugh even more.

“It's not that Mama doesn't want you here, it's just that we're not quite ready for you yet, give us three more days.” Caleb said.

“Give us four more weeks.” I muttered but rubbed my belly lovingly. I wasn't ready to be pushing a baby out of me yet. Mind you, it would probably be less painful the earlier my little kicker was. The midwife had said that from last week my baby would probably double in size before the kicker was born.

Caleb locked the door behind us and we set of walking into town, we still needed a Moses basket and some more clothes and nappies.

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